Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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