i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
