Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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