where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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