Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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