I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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