I feel great
I just peed on a car
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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