sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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