Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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