dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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