I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
