just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
