A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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