I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
