Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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