My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
