i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
