i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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