Barsexuality is the new black.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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