i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
