If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
