the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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