I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
And then he peed in my hair
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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