you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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