There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
