You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
