just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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