he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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