It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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