Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
