the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
