yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
