I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
