today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
