What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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