I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
