Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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