Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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