Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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