Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
