what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
