i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
