actually, I'm a sock model
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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