On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
