remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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