Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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