he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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