does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize