I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
