So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize