Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.

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(917): Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed. http://tfl.nu/8c7h

Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (2920)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.

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(407): I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done. http://tfl.nu/92fz

Replies (4) Good night (3037) Bad night (688)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?

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(919): Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"? http://tfl.nu/qjxq

Replies (7) Good night (4349) Bad night (1160)
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(208): View more from Idaho

My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.

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(208): My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done. http://tfl.nu/2aew

Replies (23) Good night (4225) Bad night (1996)
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(660): View more from Missouri

THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.

(816): View more from Missouri

..So we should take it off Youtube?

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(660): THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you. (816): ..So we should take it off Youtube? http://tfl.nu/93os

Replies (28) Good night (11278) Bad night (1828)
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(810): View more from Michigan

According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

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(810): According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant. http://tfl.nu/aq1y

Replies (25) Good night (11562) Bad night (1302)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl

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(662): The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl http://tfl.nu/s3lv

Replies (7) Good night (3105) Bad night (964)
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(850): View more from Florida

The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.

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(850): The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight. http://tfl.nu/6ch9

Replies (47) Good night (1949) Bad night (7267)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....

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(701): Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of..... http://tfl.nu/svr5

Replies (6) Good night (780) Bad night (2922)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.

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(870): Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships. http://tfl.nu/i0ve

Replies (18) Good night (1366) Bad night (3354)
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(718): View more from New York

He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!

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(718): He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!! http://tfl.nu/xa33

Replies (7) Good night (2762) Bad night (579)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.

(303): View more from Colorado

Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.

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(508): I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp. (303): Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex. http://tfl.nu/y0zv

Replies (8) Good night (728) Bad night (259)
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(309): View more from Illinois

All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.

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(309): All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk. http://tfl.nu/b2p3

Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (336)
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(516): View more from New York

I spy something regrettable...

(716): View more from New York

Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.

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(516): I spy something regrettable... (716): Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it. http://tfl.nu/hlqj

Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (346)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.

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(781): I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life. http://tfl.nu/cjom

Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (348)

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