I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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