My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.