oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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