kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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