So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
