Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today. http://tfl.nu/8lzo
  Replies (4) Good night (2984) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it. (405): And before you ask they are unrelated purchases. http://tfl.nu/nz1r
  Replies (14) Good night (2732) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/owra
  Replies (25) Good night (598) Bad night (3469)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose? http://tfl.nu/qulw
  Replies (112) Good night (1190) Bad night (16143)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea... http://tfl.nu/umc9
  Replies (18) Good night (859) Bad night (4614)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl http://tfl.nu/17il
  Replies (4) Good night (2981) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just found my coat check number in my underwear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I just found my coat check number in my underwear. http://tfl.nu/l4ok
  Replies (4) Good night (1813) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong http://tfl.nu/z1wm
  Replies (10) Good night (1422) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour! http://tfl.nu/4bwc
  Replies (13) Good night (1440) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm a pro at the other 9-5

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you. (215): I'm a pro at the other 9-5 http://tfl.nu/i1o5
  Replies (2) Good night (1183) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state. http://tfl.nu/3ssc
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality. http://tfl.nu/ox7x
  Replies (2) Good night (932) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt. http://tfl.nu/84n0
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina. http://tfl.nu/fw3t
  Replies (2) Good night (312) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios. http://tfl.nu/bgm6
  Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (206)

Randomize