Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.