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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

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• (310): View more from California

  Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.

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• (914): View more from New York

  wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you

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