I have demons in me.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.