Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint

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  (201): The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint http://tfl.nu/xmhe
  Replies (15) Good night (4549) Bad night (869)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?

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  (404): So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat? http://tfl.nu/7wij
  Replies (12) Good night (5660) Bad night (1050)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you thought your balls were fighting each other...

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  (815): you thought your balls were fighting each other... http://tfl.nu/ci9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4059) Bad night (1737)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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  (519): all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat" http://tfl.nu/ukas
  Replies (14) Good night (4383) Bad night (1209)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.

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  (215): we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius. http://tfl.nu/4mg0
  Replies (19) Good night (4042) Bad night (832)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.

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  (863): Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day. http://tfl.nu/qpfj
  Replies (5) Good night (1999) Bad night (903)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now

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  (903): Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now http://tfl.nu/6vco
  Replies (3) Good night (1420) Bad night (1003)
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  (607): View more from New York

  He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?

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  (607): He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official? http://tfl.nu/vpzn
  Replies (6) Good night (1134) Bad night (484)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.

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  (305): I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel. http://tfl.nu/egxv
  Replies (3) Good night (1306) Bad night (446)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.

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  (248): No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again. http://tfl.nu/jvet
  Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (462)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents

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  (519): I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents http://tfl.nu/4hgt
  Replies (2) Good night (1303) Bad night (319)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.

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  (508): Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem. http://tfl.nu/hw0f
  Replies (5) Good night (1287) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?

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  (708): was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time? http://tfl.nu/ea5t
  Replies (5) Good night (733) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Only if you died obviously.

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  (857): Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you. (857): Only if you died obviously. http://tfl.nu/keit
  Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (175)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.

  (281): View more from Texas

  You're a hero.

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  (832): Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too. (281): You're a hero. http://tfl.nu/xn5z
  Replies (1) Good night (354) Bad night (217)

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