You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
