Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
