Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
