Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
