Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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