Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
