I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I love having hate sex.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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