But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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