Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That accounts for only three of the penises
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How does it feel to date your dad?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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