you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
