im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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